The Sacrafice

I loved him...
&& I wanted him to know
Even if he had just the slightest inclination of something I knew so strongly in my heart, then I would be satisfied.
So I offered up my most precious treasure, and he eagerly accepted.
He undressed My Body
then he kissed My Body
with the most gentlest touch he caressed every bend and curve on My Body
He entered My Body
then devoured My Body
then as I slowly drifted he leaned close and whispered "I love Your Body"...
Time goes by...
&& we begin to fade
It's not him or me, more of a mutual thing.
However, there is something I miss
Something I wish I could get back
Not his eyes
not his touch
not his lips...

How I Know I'm Stronger Than You

You think your attitude makes you strong?
I think you mindset is all wrong?
They say hurt people hurt,
&& I guess I might agree
But I would NEVER let the actions of others EVER alter me
I me!;
I laugh more than I breathe
I wear my heart upon my sleeve
Sometimes I get real shy
and the simplest things can make me cry
But I love!!! it cause it's true
I'm always me unlike you
I've been hurt in my past
I've had times I thought I couldn't last
But through it all I remained the same
I've faced the fires and emerged UNCHANGED
So keep bitching like you do
it just proves
I'm stronger than you!

Collen ♥

So there's this girl...

Random Clipz

So I was Just Wonderin...

Can you fall in love wit ya self? NO really fall in love with yaself, not just bein conceited but wanna marry yaself. Okay check this out. What if you just have a string of bad relationships all ya life. I mean, you can't trust no one! So you take Beyonce's advice and take a vow that from now on you're gonna be your own best friend. And it actually seems to be goin well. You buy yourself's lil gifts. You treat yaself, you pamper yaself...you make yaself the happiest you've eva been. Then one day you decide to throw a lil slumper party. You buy ya self some chocolate covered strawberries, some champagne, and you start to feel real nice... maybe a lil too nice. You start to touch on yaself and then you look ova to the left and all that good stuff. Then before u know it your makin sweet passionate love to yourself. And get this when you wake up the next mornin there's none of that akward...omg-i-just-had-sex-with-my-best-friend, feeling. And it was probably the best sex you had in life. After that could you fall in love wit yaself. Hey, it could happen?

Honestly...

Honestly it baffles me. Why do you lie to me?
I can't understand why you constantly wanna play pretend
I'm not a toy or a game
Don't you understand that
What do you get outta the stories that you tell
Is your fantasy world easier for you to live in
Are your lies easier to stomach than the truth
Come join me in reality and realize that your not lying to me
I know the truth
The truth is I can't trust you.
And so your lying is pretty much point less
SO Quit It!
Honestly, All I wan't is for you to be honest with me!

I Hate Secrets!

I think that secrects are a tool designed by the devil to destroy hummanity. Sike it's not that serious ( I'm talkin crazy right now cause I'm heavily medicated) I hate when I know something I'm not supposed to know. Cause then I gotta play dumb like I don't know anything. Specially when the secrets about me, like my ex did something grimy or my friend did something fucked up, but to protect the secret teller I gotta act like everything is all fine and dandy. That makes me feel phony, and it also makes me feel stupid. I be wanting to scream "you aint slick bitch I know wat you did/said. I been knew for a long time." lol I think my problem is that I'm too nice. I'ma just start treatin ppl like shit, and there not even gonna kno why. okay... i'm done.

It's Only Facebook!

So yesterday my ex hit me up! lol There's a lot I could say about this but maybe I'll do that in another post. Basically he wanted to get a list of gospel songs we use to sing while we were in choir together. I rattled off some names but I was kinda busy becuase my boyfrined of 2YEARS!was there with me. I think I said something along the lines of I'll hit him up with more names when I think of them. Maybe I mentioned his wall, maybe not. All I know is this boy hit me up with a "Don't be writing on my wall no more, my girl don't like it." I had to read that statement over again. Excuse me??? First of all, I don't write on ya wall. Maybe a total of 3 times since we've been facebook friends.And one of those comments was on how pretty his girlfriend was. So what's the freakin problem? He tried to explain it to me, you know how girls are,she think we talk all the time and blah-zae-splee... but I wasn't hearin that. "Your girl is insecure" I told him. Well he didn't like that... He tried to say I was spazzin out. Chill it's only facebook! My point exactly. Females these days have entirely too much time on their hands. Aren't you insecure girls kept busy with checking your mans texts and listening to his voicemail? U got time to stalk his Facebook pg too? and she really had to stalk his page to notice the 3 lil comments I left him. I really tried to maintain a friendship with him these years but I really don't see the point no more. Oh well. It's only facebook

True Life : I'm Getting Weave

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SlideShow lol

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Nicky Minaj Sayd It Best

Step Yo Pussy Up!!!

So Nicky Minaj's message to the masses is about steppin yo pussy up, which by her definition means to keep the pussy "exclusive". Now I don't know about ya'll but a lot of girls in my school need to follow that motto. Which brings me to my point.... Ladies, all ladies, you are BEAUTIFUL. Why do you want to use you're body parts to advance you in the world. Once a man gets that pussy, ur gonna be old news and fair game for everyone else because believe it or not boys do run they mouth. and they usually don't lie. Especially when its NOT about them.
My second point is, Ladies, don't call other ladies Hoes and Whores and Sluts. Cause it's not good to be judgemental. Remember when you point the finger at someone, 3 are pointing back at you.
And lastly not only keep ur own pussy exclusive but dont go spreadin ur pussy around in a man's face when he...ALREADY HAS A GIRL! I'm currently dealin with this burden now. Not with one of my friends of course cause I have the bEst Friends EVA!! but I know this chick( who I tried to warn before) who's man is being FUCKED by her new BEST FRIEND! Shady Shady Shady tisk tisk tisk... I can't believe some females. First off thats just wrong to go dippin yo straw in sumbody elses drink, (cause I'm a firm believer in sisterhood) but to do it to someone who is sittin at your own picnic table, thats just fucked up!! Okay I'm done with the metaphors lol Step Yo Pussy Up!!

I ♥ Picnik!

This is what I do when I'm bored... Picnik.com

My Epiphany!!

I'm an educated black woman; with a job, a car, and a man who adores me ♥ ...
I believe I'm living the American Dream!!

Of Course I gotta Talk about Micheal Jackson

Of course like most of the world I was devastated when I heard the news. I grew up on Micheal Jackson, and so did my parents. I guess I pretty much figured that he would always be around. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. After his death I was really devastated that the media wanted to focus on the controversy surrounding him, saying that it may have overshadowed his talent. The nerve of these people. Micheal Jackson was an icon. Icon doesn't even begin to describe who he is. He influenced so many lives. To top it off, he was undoubtedly the most famous man on earth. He broke down color lines, he bridged age gaps, guys wanted to be cool like him and girls wanted to be like the female leads in his videos that were pursued by such a daring, and sexy Romeo.
When Micheal Jackson was dominating the world, everyone wanted to be on his side. But when his fame started to falter, people turned their backs on him. When he faced horrendous adversities his fans that he dedicated his whole life to turned their back on them. I love Jaime Foxx and all but there was a time when he was on 106 and Park and the hosts (I don't remember who they were at the time) asked him who he liked better out of Micheal Jackson and Prince. He said Prince because he wasn't to happy with Michael at the time. Now I have nothing against the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince, but when it comes to MJ there is no comparison. Jaime Foxx turned his back on the man that opened so many doors and was the reason he had a career. Yet he wants to moon walk all over the BET stage and dedicate it to Micheal. SAD
People didn't understand Micheal Jackson. He was a man full of love. That's what he promoted and thats what he lived. He dedicated his whole life to children and I can totally understand why. Children are innocent, forgiving, and for the most part nonjudgmental. Micheal connected with kids most because that's who he was at heart. a kid. He didn't have a childhood like regular folk. He was pimped out by his father since he was 10years old. People want to sit there and say that he was a disgusting pedophile, but they are the ones with the dirty minds. Micheal was right, the most loving thing you can do is to share your bed with someone. But in a world full of hate no one could possibly understand this man of pure love. It seems downright ridiculous that a man who dedicates his life to children, and spends millions of dollars donating to charity to the point that he goes broke, could be crucified like he was. It's sad.
I could really go on all day about this man but really, I'm tired of hearing about it. Its makes me so so sad that it took this mans death for people to really appreciate who he was.
I just hope that where every he is right now, he's happy, and he knows that he is loved. RIP MJ. Gone but NEVER EVER FORGOTTEN!

Random Thoughts at 1:30 in the am...

* My head hurtz! My girl Khalesha did my hair too tight, but I'm grateful it got done

*Frickin Rainbow didn't call me today. I guess no job for me!

* I miss him ♥

* I don't know why we have the friends we have, but I thank God for the few I got, and I wouldn't trade them for all the chocolate in the world.

* I just made some Red Kool-Aid , and now I'm waiting for it too cool. I hope it tastes good.

* Was I wrong for wanting Chris Brown to go to jail? Has he suffered enough?

* I love my research writing teacher. I definitely should of had him first semester.

* I can't understand why some people get away with everything, yet I always get blamed for stuff

* I think I gotta gay stalker, but she's kinda hot soo... lol

* Ooooh!!! IN YO FACE!!!

* I just realized today that I talk to myself a lot

* I just told a lie in the last thought... I didn't just realize that. lol

* OMG I feel like I'm being molested on the computer

* I have a bad habit of flirting

* Ran out of Random thoughts...

♥ Bye!

Him ♥

I don't think that I have ever loved, or ever hurt someone as much as I have this boy right here. We've been together on and off for 2 years, and through it all he has stuck by my side. Even though I have hurt him(sometimes even intentionally) he remains by my side, my truest and dearest friend. What makes a person so wonderful, love something as unwoderful as me. I'm mean, I'm mean, I'm insecure, I nag more than anyone should,I'm stubborn,I'm loud and goofy. I think that maybe he is a gift from God. That's the only explanation I have. I just wish that I could show him that he's my everything, and that in his eyes I see heaven. I don't want to spend my life without him. I would die without him. Once you have met your soulmate, life isnt worth living without them. I just want him to know that saying I love you isnt enough for me. In the simplest of terms... I adore this boy. He is my everything, and without him I am nothin. If God wanted to take me to heaven tomorrow, I would tell God to wait, cause Heaven is in His arms, and in his arms, I have solace!

Top 10 Pet Peeves

10. Internet Celebrities who think they are actual celebrities.

9. Girls who pucker up their lips in pictures

8. People who update their statues every 5 mins on FaceBook and Myspace and actually give a play by play of their days activities / People who communicate with their friends over their FaceBook And Myspace statues so everyone can be in on their sad pathetic lives and unfunny inside jokes.

7.Girls who call other girls bitches and hoes and say hood-rat things like "Get Like Me" (especially when the girls themselves aint shit and have a track record that would make a porn start blush)

6.Boys who wear flips flops when there feet look like they participate in the bare-feet Olympics

5. UnderCover men who talk shit about gay boys because they are insecure with their own sexuality

4.Insecure girls who continuously pic at otha girls and make jokes about girls who are obviously more fabulous then them

3. People who are overly sensitive and bitch about every lil thing you say no matter how nice you try to say it

2. Girls who kno they boyfriends cheat on them and in order to make themselves feel better they say things like "All these hoes better fall the fuck back and leave me and my man alone cause we gonna be together forever"

1. People who stank but insist on following you around and talkin to you

Love?

If someone told you to define love, what would be your answer?
...
If someone asked you, "How do you know you love me?", do you think you could respond?
...
I use to hate it when adults would tell me I don't know what love is. (Seriously, it pissed me off

How can anyone begin to tell me what I'm feelin inside or what I'm capable of.
It's probably even easier to love when your younger because you haven't been Jaded yet.
I think of love as this...
Love- to care about someone, deeply.
When they hurt, you hurt. When they smile you smile.
Your constantly tryin to make them laugh, because their laughter is ya favorite sound. And when they cry, your heartbrakes, right along with theres.
You don't care if this person is tellin you a joke or tellin you off, cause you just want to hear their voice.
And you spend all your time thinkin about ways to express your feelings to this person, and then when you finally see them all you can say is "I love you".
Love hurts. Love feels good. At times you feel as if it gives you life and other times you feel like it kills you.
Love is exactly what you think it is.
When someone says you don't know what love is, they're wrong. As human beings, thats what we crave in life more than anything. I can't say "I dont kno how to love," because love is inside me. Thats all I know how to do!
So... in case you were wondering... I do love you! All of you! And I ALWAYS WILL!

Now everyone who knows me, knows I love Jhene Aiko!!
I love it when she talks about love...It's as if she opened up my soul and deciphered the messages written upon the chambers of my heart.

"life is way too short to play games and be fake.

thats why I do what I feel in the moment

and Im never afraid to make a mistake

and im never afraid to feel what Im feeling

and Im never stingy with my love and affection

I'll be a Loser

I'll take that L

I'll be an L7...lol (if ur slow, thats a square)

I'll tell you "I Love You" if I feel like I love you

Y do I have to be crazy because I feel like

I love you

You must not know what that statement means....

Its not that deep...or serious (Puh- Leeeaase!)

I didnt say I wanna marry you, or die with u, or anything!!

I didnt even say anything!

ChillOut!

Cuz i'm Chill now

(meaning, "im cool" "im good" "no thank u")

I'm not crazy

Ur crazy"
lol! I ♥ her!!

Mermaid!

When I tell people my sign they say. "Oh pieces! Your the fish!" and I always have to correct them. "No honey, I ain't no fish, I'm a MERMAID!"

A legendary aquatic creature.They are often described as having great beauty and charm.

To Whom It May Concern.

This is my dear John letter...To all the fools who lost me

Dear John(s),
How are you? I bet your not doin as good I am. I mean, I really don't see how.
You had something sooo good, and you let it slip through your dirty little fingers. LOL that must eat away at you! Oh don't deny it...I know it does. You lay awake at night remembering my sweet kisses, my kind gestures. And it drives you crazy! I remember your kisses too. BOY you had some crusty ass lips! And I'm not sayin that to be a spiteful bitch. Your lips were really crusty! But I kissed them anyways... ugh! lol. Oh well, what can I say. I really liked you, I might have even loved you but thats all in the past now. Cause you fucked up. You actually thought that you would fine somethin better. NEWS FLASH I'm the best you ever had!! And judging from your girlfriends after me, I'm probably the best you'll ever get. I mean come on, how could you leave ALL OF DIS for all of that...all that fat! lmao And you were so proud of yourself, playin me with your smug little grin. Thinkin you had the upper hand cause I still was holdin on. But you fucked up kidd. Now it's you holding on, clutching at my coat tails begging me to stay on the phone with you all night. Man your pathetic! and you know what else... your a bitch ass nigga! And thats really unbecomin of you. Shakin my head...
Really tho, what were you thinking. How did you benifit from breakin my heart? I don't kno what it did for you, but I can tell you it made me a stronger person. Now I'm too strong to fall for weak ass bullshit like the kind you dished out. I found me a good man, A REAL GOOD MAN! He loves me, and I know it. I feel it everytime he holds me, and kisses me, and looks into my eyes. You know the feeling...you had that once too. Sigh!
Anywayz I thought I'd just see how you were doin these days. Me, I'm just fine!


Never yours,
Anjel Baby ♥

PS heres a pic of my new man!

I know what your thinkin... Damn they look good together.
My thoughts exactly

How to Catch An Anjel

*Many have tried but few have been successful in their quest to capute AND keep the ever elusive, Anjel* Lucky for you fools potential suitors, I have devised a fool proof strategy that will enable you the chance to finally "wife up" an Anjel*


1. When tryin to gain the affection of an Anjel*, you must always remember to be sweet!
This can mean sayin something sweet, but please be forewarned that "flattery and cheesy" pick up lines will not be rewarded. I'm pretty sure as soon as the Anjel* is out of your sight she will be laughing and telling jokes at your expense. So to just be on the safe side "If you don't have anything sweet to say... Bring chocolate instead. (Almond Joys preferably)

2. Once you have gotten the attention of your Anjel*, understand that it is now your duty to keep her laughing and smiling.
Unfortunately all Anjels* suffer from a rare bootleg form of ADD. You must hold you'r Anjels* attention, or she will look elsewhere for amusement. Make her laugh, and if you can't do that at least make her smile. But I warn you, you want her laughing with you not at you! Because believe me, she'll do both.

3. Anjels* like to cuddle!
I don't this needs to be explained

4. At times Anjels* can be very Unpredicatable.
They have been know to say, and do Random things at the most Random times. They are also cable of experiencing Random mood-swings emotions for the most Random reaasons. Just Be Patient! Hopefully this Randomness wont laST but if it does remember Guideline Number 1. and Bring Her Chocolate be sweet.
WARNING: Anjels* have been known to charge at Random. BE CAUTIOUS!!


There you have it! A fool-proof strategy. Now lets see who still fucks up!

Don't Judge Me!!

I always wanted to be a famous entertainer
It was right up there with being a teacher and mermaid! 4REALZ
So here is a little display or my skills or lack there of

(I kno this aint good...but I wanted my blog to have stuff on there so I added it.)

Random Factz!

1. I don't believe in "Best Friends" anytime you give someone that title, they act like they don't kno how to act and they go and mess things up. lol

2. I use to want to be a boy sooo bad!! I use to dress like a boy and everything

3. When I was little I use to Pray for God to turn me into a Mermaid! I wanted to be "Part of that world" soo bad!!

4. When I was younger I was the poster child for talkin to strangers! It use to get me into so much trouble!!

5. The one and only time I've ever been to the hospital was when I had a tick on me *If you really know me, then you know where it was*

6. *This may be too much information but...* I refer to my female parts as a Da-Di-Da
lmao I can't believe I shared that

7. I use to dislike my name but now I love it!!

8. I ran away once when I was 6. When I got home I got the butt whippin of my life

9. All my friends think that I'm a huge "Freak" but I only say things for shock value. *It's the quiets ones who are usually the freaks*

10. My first ever crush was Bill Cosby. I thought that I was gonna marry that man! For Real!!

11. The first time I ever drunk was New Years with my dad. B2K had just broken up and I was a lil distressed, so he bought me some wine coolers. What are dads for?

12. I always wanted to have a "Super Gay" male friend, but everytime I meet one, they kind of annoy me. I know it sounds mean but...

13. I wanted to go to school far away, so I pretend that I'm in Virginia. When my mom ask me why I don't call, I tell her because of the long distance charges.

14. I love old music. My playlist consists of songs mostly from the 50's 60's 70's 80's and 90's. I don't listen to a lot of current music.

15. I like sniffing my top lip. It makes me think of Whoppers from Burger King (Don't ask me why)

16. 16 Is my favorite number. The year I turned 16 was my best year yet! And my birthday is on the 16 of March

17. I always say that my birthday is holy. March 16th. 3/16. Like John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life"

18. Everytime I see the number "Triple 6" I cringe. My cousin once told me it was the Devil's phone number and I've been afraid of it ever since.

19. Thanks to Doug I can't stop playin with my bellybutton. I whip my belly button out when ever I can and start playin with it, I just don't CARE!

20. I love playin with a persons "wenis" (the saggy skin on the elbow) and I love havin my wenis played with too!

21. I always cut my food up into tiny pieces before I eat it. I think it's a habit I obtained from my always watchin my nephews

22. I am sooo boy crazy! Everytime I'm around a boy, I always daydream about kissing them... lol

23. I have a sippy cup that I drink out of. It's super ka-yute. It's green but when it gets cold it turns orange.

24. When I was young I use to be really close to God. I miss that feeling

25. I talk to myself more than any NORMAL person should. Sometimes I forget where I am and I do it in public, so I have to pretend like I was singing.

**26** Most people know these things about me already cause I'm really open!

So yea thats me in a nut shell!!